Learned Optimism

I've been reading a book, "Learned Optimism," by Martin Seligman, who was president of the American Psychiatric Association in the 1990's. The following thoughts were stimulated by that book.

Those who know me well often refer to me as very optimistic. Sometimes people have told me that I'm not "realistic" because I'm always seeing the positive side of everything. Well, I took a diagnostic test in the book and according to the test, my level of optimism is about average. At first, I explained to myself how the test misdiagnosed me and that psychological tests can't be trusted anyway. But then I read more of the book and found genuine ways that I could increase my optimism (in a realistic way) and become a better, more magnetic, teacher in the process.

I'm going to make a bold claim. As teachers, we must be optimistic in all of our dealings with students and colleagues. Being optimistic will make you more magnetic, more charismatic, more attractive. Guaranteed.

And you'll enjoy life more. Research claims you'll even be healthier and live longer.

True or False: You're either optimistic or pessimistic and there's not much you can do to change it.

False.

Both optimism or pessimism are learned traits that involve how you explain to yourself the events that transpire in your life. And you can unlearn either one. I suggest unlearning pessimism and learning optimism. :-)

Here's an example of how every single person looks for and sometimes even invents reasons for why things happen to them. If you've been feeling run down lately, you will explain it to yourself. You will find a reason for it. Perhaps it will be a fleeting thought like, "I never get a chance to relax." Or maybe you'll think, "I was exceptionally busy this week." The first explanation is pessimistic because it implies a sense of permanence: "I NEVER get a chance to relax." The second explanation is optimistic because it limits the negative experience of feeling run down to an exceptionally busy week. Do you see the difference? Sometimes it is subtle.

Here's an example of how our "explanatory style" (our habits of how we explain events to ourselves) affects others around us: A woman and her daughter come out of the grocery store and the mother sees a small dent on her car door. She immediately recalls that her husband has asked her to park the new car farther from the store to avoid other cars. The woman says out loud, "Things like this always happen to me! I just want to carry the groceries a few feet, not 100 yards!" Her daughter hears her and learns how the world works. The daughter learns how to explain things for herself and becomes more pessimistic.

What was soooooo pessimistic about the mother's explanatory style? The mother said "things like this" which means that many things, not just the door ding, happen to her. And she said the word "always" which is not true. Bad things do not "always" happen to anyone. The mother took a single bad event and made herself believe that many bad events "always" happen to her! She became more pessimistic and in the process, according to research, weakened her immune system and set herself up to enjoy life less.

And she taught her daughter to interpret life's events the same way.

As I'm sure you're well aware, teachers are not immune to the effects of pessimism. If you're pessimistic you aren't as much fun to be around. And you spread gloom to others. Many people don't realize the degree to which they are pessimistic.

Optimistic way of explaining the world: Bad events are temporary and specific instead of widespread or pervasive. Bad things are not internal (or personal); they are external. Good things are long-lasting, personal and pervasive.

1. "I'm a lucky person" is optimistic because it explains a good thing as a long-lasting, pervasive trait that may apply to other events.
2. "You nag at me when I _____" is optimistic because it explains an unpleasant event (nagging) as a temporary, specific situation.
3. "This book is useless" is optimistic because it explains a negative thing (disliked book) as an isolated event. Only one book was useless.

Pessimistic way of explaining the world: Bad events are long-lasting and pervasive, or widespread. They are internal (personal). Good events are temporary and very specific.

1. "It's my lucky day" is pessimistic because it explains a good event as very temporary and isolated. You're only lucky today.
2. "You always nag" is pessimistic because it explains one negative event (someone nags at you) as something that is pervasive and long-lasting.
3. "Books are useless" is pessimistic because it generalizes one negative experience (a disliked book) as something that is always true.

Compare the 1's, 2's, and 3's above. Both bad events and good events can be explained to yourself in a positive or negative light. Perhaps you think that your "inner dialogue" doesn't matter? Maybe you think that the above is all about unimportant word choices? Research indicates otherwise. :-)

Good news: optimism can be learned! And it doesn't involve inventing cute phrases to repeat to yourself. It doesn't involve disconnecting from reality. If you feel like becoming more magnetic and charismatic, I recommend checking out Seligman's worthwhile book, "Learned Optimism."