Have you ever noticed how obviously fake some children's smiles are when they get their picture taken. "Smiiiile! Say cheeeeeese!" Their smiles are often hilariously fake.
Perhaps calling them "fake" smiles is too harsh, but at the very least the smiles are deliberate social devices. When we are smiling at some people in some social situations our smiles don't reach our eyes. They aren't as... warm.
With genuine, warm smiles the corners of our mouth will lift and the inner corners of our eyebrows will soften and lower slightly. If someone is doing a "social" smile only the corners of the mouth will lift. Here's the point: a smile worn because it is socially expected is vastly different than a smile brought about by genuine happiness.
And people can tell the difference.
Facial expressions and body language in general are much more complex than the simple example above, but there is an important point. Genuine expressions of face and body must originate in the mind. We can't fake it. If we try to fake it, other people will know.
If we try to "be pleasant" and "smile" in front of our students when we aren't actually happy to see them, then they will know. If we can't wait for the weekend, they'll know. Whatever we believe deep inside will show itself in some form or another and it will likely be obvious to others we interact with. That can be scary.
Or that can be the key to becoming a more magnetic teacher.
Attempting to micromanage dozens (hundreds?) of body language signals is literally impossible. Your subconscious controls most of your body language and trying to deliberately adjust your eye muscles, lips, shoulders, hands, and legs would never work. The good news: if you will change your inside, then the outside will follow. If you will truthfully enjoy your students and your job, then your body language--the hundreds of microexpressions--will trumpet warmth and energy to your students.
Your students know how much you enjoy your job and how much you enjoy them. It is a rare teacher who can offer correction to a young person while fully enjoying that young person. If you can do that, then your student will see your acceptance and warmth and love even while you correct them.
And then they'll likely listen to you and respect you.
