It's easier for us to recall events than it is for us to recall non-events. Sounds like a no-brainer, doesn't it? But this simple fact has far-reaching implications.
Every day consists of many "non-events" punctuated by a few "events." Here's what I mean. Let's say that one day, a student lost his temper, threw his books down and stormed out of class. That same day a parent sent you an angry email claiming his daughter definitely turned in an assignment but you forgot to put it into her grade and then blamed you for his daughter's F in your class. Then you got notification that there wasn't enough money in the account to purchase the new supplies you were hoping for. As you drive home, you are likely to think about how bad the day was. However, there were three "events" that happened during an otherwise normal day full of non-events. As it happens, the non-events were likely quite positive. If you teach 30 students per class for six class periods, then 180 students pass through your door each day. The vast majority of those students probably worked on the assignment you gave. (Yes, a few probably didn't work at all, but these would be a few "events" amidst a host of other "nonevents.") The majority of students were quiet while you explained some instructions. They (mostly) arrived on time and waited to leave until the bell rang. They went to and from classes without much of a fuss all day long. These are all examples of "non-events" and every day is full of them. The problem is, it often takes only one bad "event" to make us feel like a day didn't go well.
It's easier for us to recall "events" than "non-events." Our brains zero in on abnormalities and we have a hard time shaking them. Continuing with the above example, the main danger here is that we will focus on a few negative things and therefore adopt a pessimistic outlook. In a previous post we saw how damaging pessimism is.
The good news is this: now that you know how your mind unconsciously focuses on "events" you can turn some of the positive "non-events" into events and then focus on them. A student got irrationally upset and stormed out of class--take a minute and realize that none of the other students did that! In fact, the other students thought he was irrational too! Rather than stewing on the three students in 5th period who refused to do any work, maybe you can remember and focus on the 27 who worked fairly well for most of the time. Instead of dwelling on the angry parent's email, maybe think about the 179 parents who didn't send you an email rant. If we practice not letting a few events spoil our day, then our minds will create more accurate representations of what has happened. Those accurate representations are going to be less negative than the few "events" would have suggested. The result? We will feel more optimistic. And our feelings will be conveyed to our students. They will feel the positive energy emanating from us. They will feel safe. They will feel like you enjoy them. Then they will perform better for you. And you'll feel better about your days and the whole thing will snowball and you'll be more magnetic.
But it's your choice. Will you let a few "events" spoil your otherwise "non-event" day?
