How would you feel if, at an Italian restaurant, you saw a child like this covered in spaghetti? Many people would think such a sight is cute. In fact, judging from the number of spaghetti baby pictures I found online, a great number of people admire how creative a kid can be with pasta. Some observers might feel a little bit bad for the parents...but only slightly. How did you feel when you saw the picture? Did you smile...at least a little bit?
As a casual observer in the restaurant from several tables away it's easy to smile and even whisper under our breath to others at our table, "Those parents over there have quite the mess to clean!" If you said something like that you'd be smiling, wouldn't you? I know I would be.
Now imagine that YOU are the parent.
How do you feel? Your smile has now most likely been replaced by an expression of dismay. Instead of feeling "a little bit bad" for the parents, you are horrified.
Rather than thinking it's cute and snapping a picture to share with the online universe, the parents feel like shrinking into the corner. They apologize at least 8 times to the server. Mom and Dad hurriedly attempt to clean the mess while glancing left and right to see who else may be scrutinizing them.
It is a rare parent indeed who can feel only a "little bit bad" for themselves and keep smiling while they clean the mess. These rare parents don't have to "force" the smile. Instead, they genuinely believe their little guy with the pasta hair is indeed cute. Sure, they may wish deep down that he kept his bowl right-side up, but such a wish is wayyyyy deep down and it doesn't cloud their smiles or dampen the twinkle in their eyes. These all too uncommon parents don't take themselves too seriously. They realize that a quick Google image search would confirm that this sort of thing happens all the time.
So...what does this have to do with classroom management? Everything. If we as teachers could take ourselves less seriously and truly en-joy our students (even when they do something stupid) then our own stress levels will plummet and we may even find that our students do stupid stuff less often.
I've seen it too many times. Teachers get upset at their students and let them know that they're upset. Too often some of my students have said, "You don't ever yell at us like ____ and ____ and ___..." I'm shocked that some teachers actually yell at a class of students for doing poorly on a test. Some teachers show frustration when students don't work hard, when they try to do as little as possible, when they prefer to cram rather than really learn...and the list goes on.
Can we try to take ourselves a little less seriously? Please? If we can be more like an observer at a restaurant instead of a frantic self-focused parent, our students will see that we actually like them. When they know that we en-joy them, guess what happens. They'll do just about anything for us. They will work harder. It's common sense and research-proven.
So, how about it? Will we choose smile at our students while we clean up their self-made "spaghetti messes"? Let's put away the threats and the scowls and treat them like we wanted to be treated when we were in school... when we did stupid stuff :-)
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